By Name · Week 3 · Thursday · DEPRESSION
He is a college junior, and for about three weeks his roommate has been different.
It happened slowly enough that he did not notice at first. His roommate stopped going to his morning class, then his afternoon one. He sleeps most of the day now. The blinds stay shut. His mom has called the room phone twice because he has stopped answering his cell.
He is twenty. Nobody taught him what to do with this. He has thought about saying something and every version in his head sounds wrong, so mostly he has said nothing.
The angel did not fix anything
Look at what the angel actually did for Elijah.
And he looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again.1 Kings 19:6 (BSB)
A second time the angel of the LORD returned and touched him, saying, “Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you.”1 Kings 19:7 (BSB)
Not a speech. Not a three-step plan. The angel did not talk Elijah out of how he felt. He brought bread and water, and then he left, and then he came back a second time.
I think that is the job, most of the time, when somebody you care about is struggling. Not fixing it. Being there with something to eat, and coming back.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.Romans 12:15 (BSB)
He kept coming back
So on Monday he brought food from the dining hall, set it on his roommate’s desk, and sat on his own bed for an hour doing homework without saying much. On Tuesday he did it again.
On Wednesday he said, I think you should talk to somebody. I will walk over there with you. His roommate said no. He said, okay, I will ask again tomorrow.
On Thursday they walked across campus to the counseling center together. The woman at the front desk was kind, and she put his roommate on a waitlist for the first available appointment, which was nine days out. She gave them a number to call in the meantime, and he made sure his roommate put it in his phone. He also called his roommate’s mom, with his roommate’s permission, and told her the truth.
What it cost: his own week fell apart. He bombed a quiz he did not study for. On Tuesday night his roommate snapped at him, told him to stop hovering and leave him alone, and it stung more than he expected.
And because of the waitlist, it was not done when they walked out of that office. He had to keep coming back. He still does.
That was the job. Not fixing it. Coming back.
He did not carry it alone either. He told his RA, and he told his own mom, and they both helped him figure out what to do next. Being the friend who stays does not mean being the only one.
If you are thinking about ending your life, please tell someone today. In the US, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Outside the US, findahelpline.com lists free lines in your country. If you are carrying depression, a counselor can help you carry it.
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