By Name · Week 3 · Monday · DEPRESSION
He worked six years for this promotion. Early mornings, late nights, a couple of missed ball games he still thinks about. Two weeks ago he got it. There was a dinner. His wife cried. His dad called and said he was proud of him, which his dad does not say.
This Saturday he could not get out of bed.
Not sick. Not hungover. Just heavy. He lay there and listened to the house wake up without him and could not find one reason to move. When he finally did, he sat on the edge of the bed for twenty minutes and did not go anywhere.
Nothing is wrong
That is what he keeps telling himself. Nothing is wrong. He got everything he wanted. And somehow that makes it worse, because if nothing is wrong then there is nothing to fix, and he does not know what this is.
Elijah had the biggest day of his life on Mount Carmel.
And the hand of the LORD came upon Elijah, and he tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.1 Kings 18:46 (BSB)
And then, one chapter later:
And Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there,1 Kings 19:3 (BSB)
Same man. Same faith. One day running ahead of a chariot in God’s strength, and the next running for his life. Sometimes it comes right after the high, when the thing you were running toward is behind you and there is suddenly nothing holding you up.
It is not a faith problem. He has not stopped believing anything. He just cannot get out of bed.
He told her the truth
Sunday night his wife asked if he was okay. He almost said what he always says. Just tired.
He did not. He told her that he feels flat and heavy and has for a while, since before the promotion if he is honest, and that it scares him a little that he cannot explain it.
Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.Galatians 6:2 (BSB)
She did not try to fix it. She asked if he would call the doctor. On Monday morning he did.
Calling the doctor was not a lack of faith. It was faith with its shoes on. He prayed that week, too, and he did not treat one as a substitute for the other.
What it cost: saying it out loud, to the person whose opinion of him matters most. A three-week wait for the first appointment. And walking into his new boss’s office, in his first month in the job, to ask for that Friday off, without saying why.
He did not fix it. He stopped carrying it by himself.
If you are thinking about ending your life, please tell someone today. In the US, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Outside the US, findahelpline.com lists free lines in your country. If you are carrying depression, a counselor can help you carry it.
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